Financial stability...yes. Not mental stability though. :paranoid:

Nervous doesnt have to be a bad thing. You might just intimidate her in a sexual way (you know, like sweaty palms when you're about to ask out the really hot girl in high school. That kind of nervous).

After I posted the last post here. I gave some thought, before I sent her the e-mail. It was different than what I said in the post. I have to copy it by hand. Because it wont copy the words.

Hey, so I make you nervous? I am sorry you feel that way. I never wanted you to think of me that way. I apologized from my heart, with that last e-mail I sent you. I really did mean it. I was so upset with myself, after I said those things to you, while chatting on yahoo messenger. I wish I could take those things I said back. But I was confused on where we stood. That is why I acted that way. Like I said, I know where we are, if we are anymore. (friends with benefits) After (my friend) explained to me, how it worked. But I guess that is too late now.

So bottom line, if you want me to leave you alone. So be it, I don't ever want to make you nervous or afraid of me. I do hope you have a nice life, and I still do care for you. But because I care for you, if leaving you alone. Keeps you happy, than I will leave you alone. Again take care, and I hope you find what you are looking for. And figure out what you want. Oh by the way, you have a nice birthday next week. And be safe.

WildmaN: Aaron

Yup, and when she finds out your friend is telling you things she told him, it might cause even more trust issues for her and/or your friend, and you may also lose your "source" for info. on her in the future.

Agreed.

I think that's a better idea, however, like Shady and Wrecked suggested, instead of going to a different bar, why not stay where you are? That way, she can see what she's missing and you'll be making yourself more accessible to her, which will make it easier for her to communicate with you. If it starts to bother you that much, then I could understand your reason for leaving that bar though.

Yeah, don't rip yourself apart trying to analyze why she said you make her nervous, because you may presume something that isn't true. Backing off is probably the best thing you could do right now, and allowing her some time to think and reassess the relationship. Wait for her to make the next move, and try to act like it doesn't bother you, as difficult as it might be.

Haha, yah, me too! :D

Hmmm, I didn't see your last post until just now, Wildman. Looks like it's too late to retract that email you sent her. :armata_PDT_21:

Hey thanks everybody for the helpful advice. You all really do ROCK! Anyway I did send that e-mail this morning,that I typed out in my post. But yeah I am going to just go and sit by myself at the bar. And pretend she is not there. I used to sit by myself before. So what's the difference? Been alone more than I have been with somebody anyway. Then we will see what happens. I really did have a good time, when I was seeing her. It would majorly suck, if that was to cease continuing. And yes I really do like her quite a bit. And that is what hurts me more.

Oh yeah on a side note. She texted me a while ago. Asking me if we hung out last night. Because she lost her keys. I was reluctant on calling her to tell her, that I saw her give them to her roomate last night at the bar. And yes I did call her, and tell her. But that is pretty much all I said. I am still upset, and my head is totally screwed up right now. Anyway yeah, I going to the bar as usual tonight. Can't let my fans down.

Click Here (no its not porn :paranoid: )

There you go WildmaN, you dont have to be alone. Companionship is just a click away. Just remember to keep your REAL bank account seperate from the one your significant other knows about ;)

there is a biiiigggg difference between celibacy and being single.

not really. Celibacy has a dual meaning. On one hand it means refraining from engaging in a relationship at all. On the other hand it can simply mean not having sex. I personally refer to celebacy as not being in a relationship and use abstinance to refer to a lack of sex, I mean refraining from sexual activities :D (come on, like anyone who's not a member of the priesthood would voluntarily practice abstenance :p )

#1 on the playlist "FEELINGS"?

I think what Z-Hag meant was that the difference between celibacy and "being single" is that when you're celibate, you're completely refraining from sex, but when you're "single", that doesn't mean you won't have sex alone or with whomever on a 1-night stand. So, "being single" doesn't necessarily mean you're celibate. ;)

Okay update for you all. The e-mail I showed all of you. It got to her, and she called me last night. Asking if I was going to the bar. And I said yeah, after I visit my cousin from Alaska. Anyway she asked me if I was pissed off at her. And I said no, just a little preturbed somewhat. And I told her, I gave it a lot of thought. Before I sent it to her. And I wanted to make sure, I didn't upset her with it. And she said we were cool. She e-mailed me back, and said she accepted my apologies, and told me to seriously calm down. And that it wasn't a good idea to be the friends with benefits. And because of last weekend, she was keeping her distance. Anyway all aside, she called me again last night, when I got home to drop off some leftover food, from a restaraunt. And she asked me if I was coming out to the bar. I said yeah as soon as I drop this off. I will be on my way, and then I told her I got her e-mail. And asked her if we were cool, she said yeah. And I am like I am glad to hear that. It makes me feel a lot better.

So I got to the bar, and she was all smiles, and was having a conversation with me. And then before she left, we talked about where we stood. I told her straight out, I understood what she wanted. And whatever she does with me, or whatever. I will not think she is leading me on. She asked really? And I said yes, I now understand what you want. I really have enjoyed hanging out with you. And I want to continue if you want to. And I also told her, that she would let me know when she wants to go further. So then I asked her, if we could hang out Sunday. And she said sure, and to call her after 12pm. And I am like cool, sounds good talk to you later. So we will see what happens later today. And again thanks for all the advice, encouragement. It has really helped me out. Will keep you all updated.

Awesome, Wildman! Sounds like you're "playing it cool" enough to keep her interested. Keep it up! She knows how you feel, so the rest should be her decision, but you know more about her than we do, so you'll know when the time is right if you need to reinforce your feelings for her. Good luck! :)

Thanks Barbie, I really appreciate it. And all of you, that have tried to help me out on this situation. But yeah I am going to let her, tell or throw the sign to me. That we can move forward. Until then I am going to enjoy her company again.:)

Good for you, Wildman! It appears that you're happy and smiling again (I can see that from the context of your posts, even without the emoticons). Please keep us updated! We only want the best for you! :)

hey, good luck, wildman--sounds like you're going along ok--stay cool--have fun--good luck!

Wildman, good job. At least you fixed it. The girl i was kickn it with, left.Jail. Whatever. Well it kind of sucks. But with age comes talent, see i would of screwed up, being young and what not. But yeah i'm babbling. Good job, and just keep your distance, and subdue your feelings. Thats what i need to learn but i'm lazy and lagging. Don't tell her your feelings deep one's at least, then if she does hurt you, she won't ever know how deep it did. Ya know. Stay up bro, and keep it real.

Well nothing too new yet, just playing it cool for now. It gets to me sometimes, here and there. But I have learned to bury it somewhat, and occupy myself with other things. I took my guitar in yesterday, to have it fixed. I am getting into playing again, that will keep my mind off her somewhat. I got another offer for a possibly future band last Saturday at the bar. I have decided, that I am definately going to pursue my biggest dream. Be a frontman in a progressive metal band. Or something to that effect anyway. I don't want to be stuck in my dead-end job the rest of my life. And then regret, what I have thrown away. I have had 3 band offers this year, and have only taken one seriously. No more from now on, I am pursueing this with all my heart. And bide my time with this girl, until she comes around hopefully. We will see, but I figured I would update all of you on this, and what is going on in my life. Well back to tuning my guitar so I can play it.

By the way it is a Jackson Charvel, early '90's model electric. She has Dean Markley medium 9 gauge strings, Floyd Rose bridge, with single pickups. Also a locking neck. And I just got a new jack for her yesterday. Just need to find my friggin' solder, so I can get the wiring fixed, and not use electrical tape. Anyway that is all for now. Will keep all of you updated as always. ROCK ON!:)

im in both ends...i have my confusion with this lady friend of mine, met some new ladies though, yet im the one that has found my self in shit dead end relationships this summer, specially my long one that ended in the beginiing of summer,wish i woulda called her the next day, now she is with some HS drop out that works at a pizza place for a living and spmokes pot more than anyone should and who knoews what else....sigh....but then 2 more that ended much faster and left me hurt.....so i gots the shaft both ways....it sucks...so i think im gonna dig down to the player i left inside a while back and just meet as many people as i can and then after a bunch of new lady friends (not like get with them lead them on or anything just friends) i will decide if i think one can be pursued as a girlfriend... but wildman sounds like you did the right thing, now you play the waiting game to see where it goes, but as a just incase thing, dont limit yourself to her as the only girl you like hang out with, youl regret it if it doenst work out...

Well guess who I am picking up tonight to take to karoke? He he you guessed it, her. This is really starting to pay off, we will see how it goes. I will keep you updated, got to get ready here soon.:)

Hey WildmaN, I play guitar too...mostly Fender Strats, I got three of those plus a SG, Tele and an Explorer plus my Taylor 310 acoustic....I use Ernie Ball slinkies (.10- ) and play thru a Peavey Studio Pro 112...the only effect I use is a Dunlop Crybaby wah-wah pedal...I play rock and also some blues...not in a band now, just mostly jam on my couch. Anyway, glad to see another guitar player on here.....

Woo-Hoo! YES, it does sound like "laying low" is starting to pay-off! Good for you! :038:

Oh, and concentrating more on music to keep you occupied sounds like it's doing you a lot of good! Ya never know how much that hard work can pay-off in the long run. My uncle was a member of Hank, Jr.'s band for several years, and I met a lot of famous musicians in the meantime. I saw for myself how much work is involved (physically and mentally) ... as well as what goes on "behind the scenes". If that's your goal and you become good at it, you might even exceed your wildest dreams. Setting goals helps us to strive to succeed, and achieving those goals can help to fulfill dreams. Sounds like you're on the right track!

Looking forward to updates! :)

Well still not where it was before. I took her to the bar, but somebody else took her home. Can't let on, that I don't agree with it. I really need to build some more patience. I sure did screw up something that was going pretty good. It is going to take a lot to get it back where it was. Or even further, okay that is all for now.

Oh, gosh, what happened? Did you push it further than you should've? Please be very gentle with her. Maintain your FRIENDSHIP. You have to let HER decide whether she wants to pursue the relationship.

Ya know something? I'm wondering why you're so infatuated with this girl. If she treats you like this now, just think about what it might be like if she's unsure of her feelings later on. Do you really want to go through that?

I think you're better than her. You know that she's NOT the only girl for you. You can keep the upper hand and stay in control of yourself. If you feel she's worthy of you, then only "give in" if she reciprocates. If she doesn't, you have your whole life ahead of you. Like Snowboard said earlier (in similar words), seek out other women. If she really wants you, she might even want you more when she finds out you're interested in someone else. And, if she doesn't react to it, then she just might be so high-maintenance that she'll drag you into the ground (mentally). Sorry, but I've seen this happen too many times. You, of course, know her better than me, but the more I hear, the more I think you're better off moving on, or at least giving her some competition, if you feel she can make you happy for the rest of your life.

Please think about it, hun! Weigh the pros and cons. She's not the only woman out there. There's other "fish in the sea", and the less you have to worry about her, the more you can concentrate on your goals ... your dreams.

dang, man--keep aloof, tho--keep into all your busy stuff--helps--staying light will let her knoe you are there. constant. that's important,too.