WildmaN

Well that didn't turn out the way I wanted. Oh well, got to stop kidding myself. What a fool I have been to think there was something there.

snwbrderphat540

bummer bro...was she like...WHAT??? or like, just friends....or just not there yet? but still...bummer. who hasnt been there though....well, i havent i guess cuase i dont ask until we are doin something such as, kissing, or further so i know for sure then i ask, im not ready for a let down. lol.

z-hag

hey, wildman--why do you look so familiar???????

snwbrderphat540

all skinny white guys wiht long hair and huge chops look the same.... HAHA just playin

WildmaN

Why do I look familiar, I don't know why do I? You seen me before?

WildmaN

We were making out, and such. Have been since I met her on September 1st. Every weekend, it has been that way. And probably could have gone farther, but I felt I would be taking advantage of her. Because she wasn't sober, and such. Now I am debating if I want to see if it will progress. Or call it quits, and just go back to being by myself.

I mean I poured my heart out to her late this morning. And was to the point of tears. She says, she can't trust anybody again. I told her, I was alone over 6 years. And then decided to try again, and for what? What a waste, I don't know, I think I will stop now. Enough is enough, no sense dragging all of you down.

SHADY280

dude, with more time she will learn to trust you, i know it, yur such a great and well spoken man. plus you 2 make a dang cute couple, sickening almost!!! keep in there wildman, its like the battle with your car, you will win her heart!

WildmaN

Thanks Shady, for the kind words. And I haven't given up yet, just trying to figure things out. She is online right now, I guess I will see what she is up to.

snwbrderphat540

yeah bro..if your doin stuff....(start when sober)....then theres somethign there...she has had her probs and needs to learn not everyone is liek that...just hang in there...youll get it....

WildmaN

I appreciate your thoughts. But believe me I have been around in the dating world. I have had many girlfriends in my life. No offense, but you are much younger than me. And still have much to learn on this subject.

Don't mind me, I have a lot going on in my head right now, don't take offense to it.

snwbrderphat540

ive never been soo offended in my life.....jk
sometimes age isnt everything...im not gonna lie...im amacing int he dating world nad not to say you are like this....but i gurantee there are some 30 or 40 year olds out there that are much worse at dating than i am...friendly advice is friendly advice no matter who its from...and its either wrong or its right...so just try to tell me that im wrong....
dont worry im not offended....just kinda dissapponted that sometimes age is all that matters to a person.

WildmaN

Actually age doesn't matter to me, to a degree. She is 21, and I have 10 years on her. I don't look at the age, she is a nice girl, just had her head messed with. That she has lost faith in trusting someone. She likes the company, but is unsure on what she wants to do. I still do like her a lot, but she doesn't see it like I do. She thinks I am cool, and likes hanging out with me. But it messes with my emotions, and such. I have been chatting with her for about 3 hours now.

But I didn't mean it that way man. And I can see your point, and I assure you, at my age, I know quite a bit about dating. But nobody will ever know everything about it. Just not possible, regardless of your age.

z-hag

i may have--but i don't remember where--i have family in phoenix-scottsdale area, but i don't go there much--i see people driving z's and other cars--so i cannot place where i may have seen you. my kid was born in 1973--he lives in phx area, also--but i don't even visit him there. but you still look familiar.

jfairladyz

my advice on dating: screw it. If you meet someone then you do. If you get em in bed then so be it. And if things end up working out and it becomes a lasting relationship then thats the way the dice rolled. Theres no sense in trying to make something out of something thats not there. You have to judge the relationship for what it actually is WildmaN. You're the only one here that knows this girl, and you're the only one here thats in some sort of relationship with her. So you'll have to determine what her intentions are (if in doubt, ask her ). Just remember that its impossible to read a woman with more than 50% accuracy 90% of the time. Just because she said she doesnt want to be in a commited relationship right now doesnt mean she wants it to stay that way forever. She might just need some more time, or she might be waiting for you to do something or change something. The question is: are you willing to dedicate that time without neccessarily knowing what she really wants?

Headache medicine was invented for two reasons: First was so that we could deal with complexity of female emotion and reasoning. The second was to cure that faux headache they always seem to develop

WildmaN

I now know, what is going on. I said some hurtful things last night. That could have destroyed what we had. I felt like absolute **** last night. After what I said. I pretty much know where we stand, and such. And it is not like I have other prospects. I felt so bad, I wrote her a long e-mail, to try and fix the crap I screwed up. I guess we are allriight now. At least I hope so, she sent one back saying. I didn't need to call her, I explained myself in the e-mail.

Well hopefully we still have something. And what she wants right now, is friends with benefits. She got out of a long bad relationship. And doesn't want to be tied down. She wants somebody there, to hold and such. But at the same time, still wants her freedom, or independence. It was something I didnt' understand at first. But now I do, and I do enjoy her company a great deal. And I hope it continues, okay that should sum it up. Thanks for the comments.

wreckedj30

Damn, wildman, me and you are in the same place, right now. My kinda of lady friend, doesn't want to be tied down, she wants friends with benifits, it works for so long. But j is right, women tend to just come and go, if they want to stay then they do. Just keep your spirits up and just do your own. Good luck bro.

WildmaN

Thanks bro' appreciate it. And this week has been dragging for me. I can't wait until Friday, and find out if I can still see her or not. I think the chances are good on that one. But the anticipation kills me nonetheless. Will keep you all informed on what happens. And thanks for all the thoughts, and encouragement.

z-hag

with females, there are no rules, at least none that i am aware of--if you two are good together, it will work in the long run--both have to care--then things are able to be worked out --keep us posted......and keep us apprised of the bottle thrower situation--i wonder if you will ever see them again. be safe. drive fast. don't hit anything bigger than you.

SHADY280

the bigger they are the harder they fall!!

WildmaN

Okay my friend called me when I was working. So I called him after, he had some great news for me. The girl I have been seeing, was asking if I was working. So I think I am out of the doghouse now. Woo hoo! Can't wait until the weekend. Today is going to be so much better at work now. Of course my friend, contacted her first, and then she was asking about me. So I am super-stoked on knowing, where I stand now. If I wasn't working, I would have been with her quick as sh#t! He he Anyway just thought I would share with all of you. Will let you know what happens this weekend. Well maybe not everything.

WildmaN

Well that tears it, screw women, they suck. I am so hurt right now, I am upset. She told my friend, that I made her nervous. WTF? I think I am going to tell her. "Okay so I heard I make you nervous" "If so, I will leave you alone, have a nice life"

What do you all think about that one? Either that, or I think I will ignore her. And not say anything to her. Then we will see if she wants to reconsider. When she starts missing me. If not, I will probably go to a different bar, to sing. So I don't have to see her. Anyway give me your thoughts on this, if you want.

SHADY280

well wildman, it may pan out, seems like this chick has been damaged seriously by some jerk, and has some weird baggage. she needs either to see you more at your natural self (the nice calm, well spoken man we all know here) and doing the singing gig. this should remind her who you are and her feelings for you. the other either is if she is too damamged and stuborn to see you for who you really are, then its a nice hug and bye. its a hard call. my first reaction is to save it personally, but im stubborn and try too hard sometimes.

RodMoyes

Dude! Chill out or I'll drive over there and slap you.

It's clear that she has trust issues...

If you indeed make her nervous, then the worst thing you can do is confront her in the manner you just described.

It's not you. It's anyone that she feels she might develop feelings for.

It's a long, hurtful process to gain the trust of someone with that type of emotional baggage.

you are either up to the task, or you are not... Only you can decide if you have enough patience and feelings for her to ride it out.

She is scared and will only get more so if you confront her.

Instead, try telling her you understand and are there for her IF and WHEN she decides to try and go forward.

It sucks, a lot of us have been there. If you really think you like her enough to hang in there and pursue a relationship with her, then you need to back off and play it VERY cool.

Any sign of "aggresive" behavior on your part (even something that to you doesn't seem to be) will push her farther from you.

Times up, sessions over... see you on my couch again next week.


Rod.

wreckedj30

Dude are you my twin from the future or something. Were in the same places again. The girl i was after suddenly just stopped coming around. I called my buddy and he said she didn't want to talk over some b.s. so i just left it alone, went along with my daily to do's and yeah. For some reason i scared her away, who knows maybe its my want of a future life, maybe she was just useing me, i don't know. But there are more and better women out there, you'll find one as will, i. But i wouldn't be agressive just kick back and if she comes back then she does, don't push it. And i'd still go to the same bar, let her find a new one if she is going to be afraid of the love we have. Stay up wildman and have some fun. Late

entropy31

celebacy guarantees financial stability and maintained sanity. i'll stay single for now thanks.