Carl's Z

This is the biggest collection, of the world's biggest lies ever told...


The check is in the mail.

I'll respect you in the morning.

I'm from your government, and I am here to help you.

It's only a cold sore.

You get this one, I'll pay next time.

My wife doesn't understand me.

Trust me, I'll take care of everything.

Of course I love you.

I am getting a divorce.

Drinking? Why, no, Officer.

I never inhaled.

It's not the money, it's the principle of the thing.

I never watch television except for PBS.

...but we can still be good friends.

She means nothing to me.

Don't worry, I can go another 20 miles when the gauge is on "empty."

I gave at the office.

Don't worry, he's never bitten anyone.

I'll call you later.

We'll release the upgrade by the end of the year.

Read my lips: no new taxes.

I've never done anything like this before.

Now, I'm going to tell you the truth.

It's supposed to make that noise.

I *love* your new _____!

...then take a left. You can't miss it.

Yes, I did.

Don't worry, it's OK - I'm sterile.

Bleach

oh no, it wasn't just a cold sore!

RodMoyes

What about:

"No, those jeans don't make you look fat"



??????????????????????????????


Rod.

entropy31

nope, its the fat that makes you look fat .

snwbrderphat540

hmmm.. i dont liek that government one before casue i never hear dit... the saying is "hi im from the FAA and im here to help you" now that is one that should be up there...

z-hag

ANYONE from the govwrnment who claims to be there to HELP you is a common fool and a damn liar.........

"don't worry--it's ok--i took my pll already...."

trust me.....i will repay you......


but i only need it for a minute......

hoov100

(car dealer) "its only $xxxx.....oh that was the cash price" L